During this time of year I pause and reflect often on Mother's Day and what this day means.
For me Mother's Day is a celebration of women around the nation and World.
It is a celebration of women who have excelled at the art of living and parenting at the same time.
It is a celebration of unconditional love. It is a celebration.
However, for some women, Mother’s Day is a fierce and unkind reminder of loss.
Who are they? They are women who are struggling with infertility, who long to be mothers. Women who have experienced the death of a child either due to miscarriage, stillbirth, failed adoptions or other medical complications either for the women or the child they have lost. Women whose own mothers are deceased. Women who are estranged from their living birth mothers and struggle with unconventional grief daily.
Let us not forget these women.
For these women, Mother’s Day can be a difficult day, particularly when they have not shared their experiences with anyone or just a select few. Particularly when they continue to walk in a society that doesn't necessarily see them, validate their mothering status and / or their pain.
I see you. I feel you. I am you.
If you fall in this category with me I encourage you to be gentle with yourself. Notice how you are feeling. Acknowledge the pain - whether physical or emotional. Allow yourself to hurt. Allow yourself to cry. Allow yourself to laugh. Allow yourself to just be.
Give yourself permission to spend Sunday how you want.
Whether that may mean you spend time alone, celebrating other women in your life or staying away from social media for the day. Do something for your soul. Allow yourself to be you - whatever that may look like.
I would like to close this post with a favorite reading from
An Open Letter to Pastors on Mother’s Day by Amy, a non-mom, speaks on Mother’s Day at the Messy Middle
I believe we can honor mothers without alienating others. I want women to feel welcome, appreciated, seen and needed here in our little neck of the body of Christ
To those who gave birth this year to their first child – we celebrate with you
To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you
To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you
To those who experienced loss this year through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away – we mourn with you
To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is
To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you
To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you
To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you
To those who lost their mother’s this year – we grieve with you
To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience
To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst
To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you
To those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising – we anticipate with you
And to those who are mothering four legged babies – we are joyful with you
This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst.
We remember you.
If I can help you with additional strategies or ongoing support, contact me at 281.940.5820 or firstname.lastname@example.org